Not every conversation needs agreement

Facilitating without fixing

These days, it doesn’t take much for a conversation to go sideways. Lately, I’ve been paying attention to that moment, just before things turn.

You know the one…
when the air shifts,
the volume rises,
or someone’s silence starts speaking louder than their words.

Facilitation isn’t about controlling what happens in those moments. It’s about being present enough to notice them, and gentle enough to respond in a way that keeps the thread intact.

A close-up of a handwritten poster with the words: “discomfort,” “guilt,” “HARD FEELINGS COME UP WHEN TRYING TO BE PRES[ENT]” in bold, uneven lettering. A hand holding a black marker finishes the last word.

Five ways to redirect the conversation

When group conversations get tender, tangled, or off-track, a thoughtful redirection can make all the difference. These are a few phrases we’ve been using that help bring things back to center, without shutting anyone down:

“Let’s take a moment of silence to reflect on what’s been shared so far.”

Silence isn’t avoidance, it’s integration. A pause can help create space for emotions, nuance, or new insights to arise.

“NAME, I’m going to pause you for a moment so I can check in with others.”

When one voice is dominating, it’s okay to intervene. Especially if it helps surface quieter perspectives.

“It sounds like there’s some tension in the room —and that matters.”

Tension isn’t something to bypass. Often, it’s a signal that people care. Acknowledge it, name it gently, and return to the purpose: listening deeply.

“Let’s make sure we’re still on the same page.”

When things get too technical, don’t be afraid to summarize what you’re hearing. You don’t need to be the expert, just the guide.

“That’s a great question, and I’m curious…what’s most important to you about this?”

Sometimes questions are really perspectives in disguise. Curiosity can shift defensiveness into dialogue.

These phrases aren’t scripts. They’re invitations into reflection, repair, and more grounded conversation.

Conversations in progress

These phrases are tiny doorways — ways back into curiosity, care, and connection. And they’re most powerful when we practice them in the messy middle, when things feel charged or uncertain.

That’s where my latest Substack piece picks up: in the in-between.
It’s about what happens when we don’t rush to choose a side, defend a point, or fix the discomfort.
It’s about what opens up when we stay open.

Read “You don’t have to pick a side” here and, if it resonates, I’d love to hear what it stirs up for you.

A small drawstring pouch labeled “good talk collective – the change collection” sits on a dark tabletop alongside printed materials, including a handout titled “Navigating Change” and a card that partially reads “hello.”

Upcoming events: Good Talk 2025

Good Talk is back again this fall with two big conversations to close out 2025.

This August, we’re diving into Learning Out Loud: Being Human While Still Figuring It Out. Let’s be honest: most of us are still making it up as we go. And maybe that’s not a flaw, but a feature.

Then, in November, we’ll gather for What Keeps You Going? A steady reflective exhale in a season that asks for so much. We’ll talk about the tiny rituals, deep values, and surprising lifelines that help us find our way through.

📍 Heads up: We’re changing locations! Starting in August, Good Talk is trying on a new location! We’ll be gathering at YWCA Edmonton’s Cushing House — a cozy, welcoming space that holds our kind of conversation with care.

🗓️ Next gatherings:

August 14 @ 6:30 p.m. Join us!
November 6 @ 6:30 p.m. Join us!

Come curious. Come tired. Come with questions.

These are the kinds of conversations that remind us who we are — and help us become who we’re still becoming.

We’d love to see you.

upcoming Good Talks

Lindsay with long brown hair, wearing glasses, a light blue top, and black pants, sits on a gray chair in a bright room. She’s mid-conversation, smiling and gesturing with one hand while holding a notebook and pen in the other.

Conversation starters

Kindness: The Stars That Light Our Way — Jesse Thistle

Last week, I had the chance to listen to Jesse Thistle speak as part of the Edmonton Public Library’s Forward Thinking Speaker Series — and I’m still thinking about it. Jesse shared stories from his time navigating addiction, homelessness, and the justice system, many of which he explores in his bestselling memoir From the Ashes and his poetry collection Scars & Stars.

At the heart of his talk was this truth: in his hardest moments, it wasn’t food or shelter that helped him survive — it was kindness. The kind that caught him off guard. That he didn’t feel he deserved. That showed up anyway. Kindness from friends, from strangers, from people who saw his humanity even when he couldn’t see it himself.

It left me wondering:

What are the small kindnesses that have shaped me?
How can I offer care without agenda? Especially across difference?
What would it mean to treat kindness not as nice-to-have, but as essential infrastructure for community building and healing?

In a world that often feels heavy and off-kilter, this kind of relational, decolonizing practice feels like a map for how we find our way back to each other. If you get a chance to hear him speak, I’d highly recommend it.

If this sparked something for you too, I’d love to hear it. Just hit reply to this email — I’m always up for a good conversation.

A person sits on a colorful, striped rug holding a handful of brightly colored cards from a conversation deck. More cards and the deck’s box are scattered nearby.

A final thought

Sometimes, all it takes is one person to hold the thread… to bring us back to listening, to steady the room, to remind us why we’re here.

Here’s to that kind of leadership.

Quiet. Brave. Relational.

Until next time,
Lindsay

You received this email because you participated in one of our events or signed up through our website or one of our social media pages. If you would no longer like to receive these emails you can unsubscribe at any time.